I know that on the other side of the pendulum of my anger, grief and sorrow are the same weight of emotions, mirrored in intensity, but complete opposites because of how profound my love and admiration for her is. The price for loving Sally and having the privilege of knowing her is that the loss is felt immensely and carried heavily. The pain is as beautiful as it is tragic. The beauty comes from Sally-who she is to me-her intensity, how she lived her life, our friendship, the love and understanding we had for one another, the times we shared together and what she meant to me. I’m haunted by her death, but my memories of her keep me from getting lost in it. I keep her spirit alive by remembering: her laughing in the sweet light of an August evening in a corn field-I can still feel your dreads tickling my shoulders if I sit still and bring myself there, all the stories we shared, seeing her for the first time, lying my head in her lap while she sang to me as I felt my heart crumbling, cuddling under a makeshift tent from the rain, her tanning her smelly raccoon hide for days on end, singing together, watching her belly dance, being ridiculous, having serious and heavy conversations as well as sharing positive life experiences and her whaling while she strums her banjo in which ever town we happened to be wandering.

Sally, I’m sorry I never wrote you again. I suppose I don’t count emails. I was waiting for you to get back to Arizona so I could mail off the care package I started for you buddy. To answer your questions: I miss and love you too sweetheart. These days I’m passionate about a lot mostly building community, gardening, acupressure, getting a dog and learning about mushrooms and wild crafting-I thought about how funny it was that we went to Burdock fest and never learned much about burdock root there. I saw some in the store the other day and thought of you. I finally left Brattleboro and am really close to settling down in Portland, I know two years later. I hope I can have a house with a garden. I’m going to keep learning Spanish too before I lose it entirely. I wanted to pick your brain about Oaxaca, talvez some day. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts from time to time, updating me on your travels and sharing what you did while you were there. I love to live vicariously through people when I’m not traveling. I love you so much and miss you terribly. You’re fucking awesome and so beautiful woman. I know few people who smile as much as you did. I really, really loved having you stay with me. I’m so lucky to have met you. I don’t think anyone has given me as many nicknames as you sister squirrel! We did have ridiculous times together and it is amazing how we met at my favorite swimming hole in Vermont one hot swampy summer day in July; the next thing I knew we were navigating a crazy time adventure through New England together as if we had known each other for years. Anarchista amiga mia, nunca te olvidaré.
adios ~ good bye love
con mucho fuerte y amor
Christy

 


Comments

tadeo

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:04:23

I learned Spanish with Sali in Guatemala. She was an amazing free-spirited woman who was also very giving and determined in her struggles. It does not surprise me that she was doing the exact same work as myself en mexico.... Siguen la lucha!!!!

 

Shailagh

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:43:50

I have been reading some of the stories on here ever since the site was set up, and i want to say thank you. To read stories of how Sali has touched other peoples' lives has been keeping her alive to me. I miss her so much.
I feel connected to all of you through our collective inspiration gifted to us by our Sali, not to mention our collective grief.
But we carry on with her, don't we? I have a picutre of Sali from the day that we met, and underneath, I've written "Try harder, and continue..." because what else is there to do?
I'm trying hard to cultivate those things in me that Sali seemed to love. Like gentleness and strength. Like dedication and the willingness to do the shitwork to bring along a better world.
My only hope of seeing Sali again is in the seeds of light that she's planted in each of you (and in turn, the seeds of light you planted in her).
I want to meet you someday, not only to share the weight of this grief, but to get a chance to touch those parts of her that are still alive.
Mad hugs. Stay strong. Embrace light.
Para ke siguimos, because we are still walking, and Sali still walks (and dances) with us.

 

dENDRON

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:15:53

THANK YOU FOR THIS SHAILAGH, WHAT BEAUTIFUL WORds. i hope that i get to meet all of you someday too, what a beautiful way to be connected, by keeping this wonderful person alive in all of us....

 

Shloka

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:21:40

Thanks for this Christy.

 



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